tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post9086354514940773523..comments2024-02-15T00:49:12.299-08:00Comments on Rolling with the Punches: Please don't come inSpoonydochttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05530660179706960529noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-32876018967403163922013-10-21T12:42:14.120-07:002013-10-21T12:42:14.120-07:00I remember my daughter's agency carer returnin...I remember my daughter's agency carer returning to us after a month's gap and walking through our sitting room admiring our ornaments and wall hangings saying, "That's new - and that's new - and you didn't have that last time I was here." <br />I inserted the incident in my daughter's notes as a gentle reminder for new staff to please respect our privacy and keep their comments about our possessions (old and new) to themselves. <br />Michelle Dalyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05346673946123350689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-48239795034028796862013-08-27T04:22:05.220-07:002013-08-27T04:22:05.220-07:00@Vicky....OMG...you are saying you was turned down...@Vicky....OMG...you are saying you was turned down because "Has lot of books, magazines etc all neatly arranged." So, if we have half a brain we are not disabled....and from a damn doctor as well !!! Over 10,000 have died so far due to cuts and support being taken away ... wait and see what happens to them if they become ill or loose their job, sometimes I wonder if some realise that the system they are criticising is the very system they may one day need ?!Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02493618258843806269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-44718376786440230302012-12-22T23:38:57.614-08:002012-12-22T23:38:57.614-08:00I've just seen this entry. I remember when I w...I've just seen this entry. I remember when I was assessed for DLA at home and I got turned down and had to go to appeal. That meant I saw the doctor's report and was in for some surprises.<br /><br />I wasn't surprised that he thought there was nothing wrong with me medically. What was a surprise was the contents of the "other relevant information" box.<br /><br />"Has lot of books, magazines etc all neatly arranged." <br /><br />I read that out to my father, who nearly choked, since "neat" is not a word that anyone has applied to me for years. What struck me, however, was that, however "neatly" things were arranged it was odd that the doctor seemed not to have considered that this was a result of me nagging my husband to "put that book back where it came from." It doesn't usually work, but he made an effort because the doctor was coming - talk about irony! <br /><br />It's like all those people who say, "You can't be that disabled, you managed to get a letter in the post." I want to say, <br /><br />"Do you hand-deliver all your mail? No? You mean the Royal Mail carries it across the country for you? Good heavens, I find that hard to believe."<br /><br />No, my husband takes my letters to the post box, just as he brings the cups of tea to my bed and gets my books down for me (and occasionally puts them away again).<br /><br />Back to the doctor's judgement. What left me irate was the assumption that, if I was *really* disabled, I wouldn't have "lots of books." In fact I rather think that he thought someone who was a real case for DLA benefits wouldn't/couldn't read.Vickinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-22432136951038435312012-06-14T15:56:42.601-07:002012-06-14T15:56:42.601-07:00i know what you mean, exactly. A friend of mine c...i know what you mean, exactly. A friend of mine commented how many nice clothes i had!! I replied that yes, and most of them are years old from back when I could buy nice things. Any named brands come off ebay these days anyway, and I never pay more than a fiver for an item of clothing. I felt I had to hide the fact that I bought my son some bedroom furniture and bedding and myself a laptop with a thousand pounds my aunt left me because i was frightened. everyone seems to expect you to be on the fiddle. i just want to cry. a lot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-25767929873266399732012-06-07T06:44:39.941-07:002012-06-07T06:44:39.941-07:00It's a terrible thing, I have to forcefully st...It's a terrible thing, I have to forcefully stop myself from justifying me owning or buying myself something nice. I refuse to justify what I buy, what I own and how I pay for my purchases. It's become a knee jerk reaction to start explaining how I have gotten/paid for my luxury - and non luxury - items. I now make an effort to stop myself before I even begin to justify.<br /><br />It's terrible that it's gotten so bad that this is a knee jerk reaction for so many disabled and ill people. Now I'm trying to unlearn it!!<br /><br />I didn't realise I did it until I got a small saving plan, one of those ten year endowments, paid out in April. I was going to put in all away and save it and was actually not going to buy more than a few cheap treats for myself until I realised I what I was doing. I was actually afraid to buy myself what I really wanted because I was afraid of having to explain myself to totally strangers who believe people who have to live - exist really - on disabled benefit shouldn't own nice things.<br /><br />It was a shocker to me that I was allowing strangers, outsiders, reactions to my owning such things to stop me spending my own money. Money that I have saved and scrimped for a decade.<br /><br />So, after speaking to my Mum who encouraged me to buy what I wanted with my money I ordered the iPad I had always wanted but thought I could never afford to own.Lesley-Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15757557461696305872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-10208453216149423832012-06-07T02:45:25.020-07:002012-06-07T02:45:25.020-07:00I would never go into any persons house and commen...I would never go into any persons house and comment on the value of Their Property. I would however comment on things that were pleasant to look at or may enquire as to how certain things worked perhaps. Yes i am nosey but i wouldnt go into a strangers house at all, so they would know me quite well anyway. I was bought up to respect other people for who they are, not what they are or what they own.<br />I think it was not a great thing for your carer to do. I think i would have told her straight out that she was being disrespectful and rude. Would she expect you to comment like that on entering her property? <br />Mind you i still feel the need to stress that i haven't always been on benefits, that i really do have a hidden disbility, that is actually quite obvious to anyone who spends long enough in my company!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-54967248115885412062012-06-06T05:28:26.466-07:002012-06-06T05:28:26.466-07:00Hello there, I am so excited I found your site, I ...Hello there, I am so excited I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was researching on google for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a fantastic post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment butI have saved it and also included your RSS feedsRolling Chassishttp://www.demonscycle.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-66037910613297363102012-06-06T05:16:04.890-07:002012-06-06T05:16:04.890-07:00Your carer was *way* out of line.
You're not...Your carer was *way* out of line. <br /><br />You're not required to give her any information about where your money comes from. Even if you did choose to tell her that you were on benefits...you shouldn't be made to feel like she'd make negative assumptions about you based on that. <br /><br />They should be covering that in her training.<br /><br />*shakes head* It makes me so sad to hear to hear that so many of you go in Britain go through this. I'm sure it happens in Canada too, but I was lucky enough not to need carers for very long after I came home for good from stroke rehab, and lived with family for quite some time...GirlWithTheCanehttp://www.girlwiththecane.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-84921544983187670792012-06-05T20:52:44.877-07:002012-06-05T20:52:44.877-07:00Beveridge's five Giant Evils were Want, Diseas...Beveridge's five Giant Evils were Want, Disease, Ignorance, Squalor and Idleness.<br /><br />Society seems quick to ascribe - unfairly - Idleness to those with Illness and by doing so, showing Ignorance. 60% down and we're barely out of the blocks. <br /><br />Because of the three already addressed, though, anyone with a disability should presumably be driven into Want and Squalor by some bastardised means testing that can be done by a Norm? That would be indicating the behaviour of a sick society were it not for Beveridge saying precisely that 70 years ago.<br /><br />We've come a long way, babyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-55188485717130360732012-06-05T19:42:29.934-07:002012-06-05T19:42:29.934-07:00It's amazing to me how much people think they ...It's amazing to me how much people think they have a right to judge others, without knowing anything about their lives. It's like when I park in a handicapped parking space and get looks because I "look healthy." We all deserve to have our needs met and to even have some fun in life, and entertainment is no exception. If I choose to eat nothing but rice and beans in order to save up some money for a "luxury" then that's my business. And if I have a luxury because I bought it when I was working, that's my business too. That carer was way out of line. Being on benefits does not and should not mean living in a hovel in the worst neighborhood without any entertainment and sitting at home alone staring at the wall all day every day. That's absurd.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-36181509420735056912012-06-05T19:11:28.604-07:002012-06-05T19:11:28.604-07:00I have a decent sized house and a fair amount of n...I have a decent sized house and a fair amount of nice things, mainly by virtue of the fact that my rent has stayed the same for the last 7 years, and I was lucky enough to get a few grand as an inheritance a few years ago (before I was sick). I can't pretend I haven't noticed people clocking my belongings and putting a mental pricetag on them. Nowadays when people come into my house, or I meet a new neighbour, I always tell them I work from home, instead of claiming benefits. I dread the day someone decides I have too many niceties, and tries to report me to the DWP. <br /><br />We shouldn't have to justify what we spend our money on - we are given money to live, and dammit, that's all we're trying to do!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-90503223050166764432012-06-05T14:53:24.708-07:002012-06-05T14:53:24.708-07:00It's like I feel awkward about the fact I have...It's like I feel awkward about the fact I have multiple PCs. Ignoring the fact it's because I never throw one away, and was working (and/or a funded student) when I got pretty much all of them.<br /><br />For that matter, what's with people upset about people on benefits having flat panel TVs? Can you even get CRT tellies any more?Sam Barnett-Cormackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01904395421765346531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-83785844317162689632012-06-05T14:18:59.085-07:002012-06-05T14:18:59.085-07:00Was really tired when I wrote the above, excuse th...Was really tired when I wrote the above, excuse the spelling please, I'm turning red!britishroseshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07548767074809800170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-44495624680066153392012-06-05T11:49:03.987-07:002012-06-05T11:49:03.987-07:00Thanks to all the negative news. It could be turne...Thanks to all the negative news. It could be turned around through those means also, but would take money and/or persons on the inside will to do. Charities could do it, it could make a difference and especially with what is already done online. Everyone deserves a decent standard of living, not everyone can be reach, someone has to pick up your rubbish or serve your coffee, but they should be receiving a decent living wage.britishroseshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07548767074809800170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-86853280580084964912012-06-05T11:33:10.385-07:002012-06-05T11:33:10.385-07:00I don't know whether to be sorry or relieved t...I don't know whether to be sorry or relieved to hear that I'm not alone in feeling or experiencing these things!<br /><br />I should also add that I don't think people on benefits shouldn't be able to save up and buy any "luxuries" at all. Those who due to health and disability from an early age who don't have the opportunities I did to go to work should not forever be banned from buying all but basic essentials. Likewise those who end up on disability benefits later in life should not henceforth never be able to buy an entertainment item ever again.<br /><br />My point about the items "I worked for" was simply that had I been on benefits at the time, I might either have gone without or gone for something less expensive (for instance I would have satisfied myself with 1 smaller fish tank rather than 2 large ones!). <br /><br />The trouble is that uninformed people now make very wrong assumptions about what I can afford on benefits and go away with annoyed preconceptions about the welfare system.Spoonydochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05530660179706960529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-51919738288687272432012-06-05T11:09:11.680-07:002012-06-05T11:09:11.680-07:00I completely understand, but what an upside down w...I completely understand, but what an upside down world when we feel embarrassed to have a nice home!! I also have a lovely home - a bungalow with a loft conversion, on which I am very lucky to have no mortgage as the last of it was paid off after my husband's death, when I was also still working and earning. And having the loft conversion means I can have lodgers, which help me to live. As you say, if we had to try to find alternative accommodation, it would be extremely difficult to find as accessible properties are a rarity.<br /><br />Providing accommodation for people upstairs and having my own accessibility needs met downstairs makes this nice bungalow a very efficient place for me to live - I don't forget how fortunate I am, but like you should have no need to feel embarrassed.Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04924279884167633221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-19808368859316474562012-06-05T09:37:04.349-07:002012-06-05T09:37:04.349-07:00I understand exactly what you mean, it's as th...I understand exactly what you mean, it's as though you are not aloud to have anything to show for your life just because you are now unable to work and need social security. Desperately need mass media showing positive side of things and how most receiving social security are like us and have had lives before needing help, we do have a right to have something to show for our lives. Prefer social security to welfare also. There are many positives of people receiving SS and how it helps those who need and deserve it, we need front page coverage and news stories. Don't feel bad though and it's actually nobodies business if you receive benefits or not.britishroseshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07548767074809800170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-57120480144644153142012-06-05T09:01:26.118-07:002012-06-05T09:01:26.118-07:00I can empathise with this. I live alone in a counc...I can empathise with this. I live alone in a council flat (which I got after losing my home after being attacked there) and I'm on benefits due to physical problems dating back to the age of 14 and mental health problems caused by that attack.<br /><br />My rent is lower than what I paid in a shared house 10 years ago but it doesn't stop people making comment about how nice my house is in a way that always makes me wonder if they are judging. My home is my most precious thing and what keeps me going when I feel utterly bleak, thus I've spent effort on it when I could. None of my furniture (except the sofa) cost more than £100 and I've had the telly since 1999. Many of the nice things were bought as bargains off Ebay or are gifts.<br /><br />I obviously missed the bit on the ESA form where you get your weekly money in return for handing back all worldly goods and wearing a hair shirt. I refuse to feel shame for keeping my house nice and cannot imagine how much worse my agoraphobia would be if I didn't feel comfortable in my own surroundings. And I will not apologise for that. <br /><br />Sends solidarity!gherkingirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12440614300240880834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8102063997894034497.post-24941264123272880372012-06-05T08:18:50.875-07:002012-06-05T08:18:50.875-07:00Even if you DID buy them with benefit money, what ...Even if you DID buy them with benefit money, what business is it of anyone elses? Are you supposed to just sit there and look at four walls all day? Let your brain go to waste just because your body struggled to get through a working week? That's a pretty good recipe for depression, isn't it? <br /><br />I'm guessing they'd be happy if people on benefits became depressed due to having nothing to engage their minds with, until it meant more NHS resources and money being spent. <br /><br />It's a bit cheaper in the long run, I think, to buy a luxury item than to face the dreary and otherwise unthinkable alternatives. <br /><br />Sorry to hear about your bad agency worker. *hugs* if you'd like one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com