Thursday, 2 May 2013

Fighting illness isn't always about battles

I like days like today.
I woke up feeling terrible and have felt very ill all day. (I know I'm definitely ill when I switch on my favourite video game, pick up the controller, groan and switch it all back off again!)
BUT... I have had a good day.
TAKE THAT illness! *pulls rude childish faces and blows raspberries*

I got to spend some all too rare time with my youngest sister who leads a hectic lifestyle in London as a freelance classical musician (french horn). She had stayed the night and I HAD intended to take her out for lunch.
I was most put out as I had been doing really well recently (relatively speaking) and was sure I would be well enough to do so. But after learning that pizza is apparently very expensive in London for some reason, I ordered some and we had a picnic in the garden followed by strawberries. She then went off to catch her train.

By then I felt far too ill to do anything at all, so slept and watched my fish tanks all afternoon. By evening I felt well enough to speak coherently with my friend who had come to visit. We had a good old chat before watching a couple of episodes from "Game of Thrones". We have both read the books so know the plot, but are really enjoying the series anyway. It is very well done.

I hope I will feel better tomorrow, but if I don't I have plenty of little short things I can think of to do even while feeling dreadful.

So there you have it. Today might have been considered a loss and a failure. I didn't manage to take my sister to the pub. I was incapacitated for the majority of the day. And let's face it, I felt like death warmed up!
But in fact I enjoyed my time with my sister anyway, had a wonderful lunch, some precious time outside the four walls of my flat and an enjoyable evening with my friend. I call that a win.

Had I tried to "battle on" and go to the pub one of two things would have happened:
1) I would have collapsed or had to come home early and caused a scene and great distress to my sister.
2) I would have "made it" but not enjoyed a minute of it and caused worry to both myself and my sister as we would both have been wondering if I was about to collapse.
Instead I was able to spend a relatively pleasant time with sister despite the fact that I wasn't feeling at all well. Neither of us was worried or concerned. We enjoyed our meal. We enjoyed our surroundings. 

Had I tried to "battle on" during the rest of the day and do things, I would not have been able to enjoy the evening with my friend and, from past experience, I know I would likely be very ill tomorrow. As it is there is every chance that I will recover. If not, well, at least I have given myself the best possible chance to do so.

I didn't manage to get much done today but, well... there IS a reason I'm on long term sick leave from work! Right now it means that if I have to put things off to tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, it usually isn't the end of the world.

I strongly believe that beating the illness isn't always about battling on and doing things despite it. I think it is about enjoying life even when feeling very ill and even when your plans have gone awry.


  1. So glad you enjoyed your day. I know exactly how you feel. Apart from hospitals I have not been well enough to go out since last year but still manage to stay positive enough to enjoy visits from family and friends. We had a curry / Pointless night last Friday and whilst it exhausted me and I slept most of Saturday, it made me smile and gave me the will to keep fighting. P.S Love your blog :)

  2. Sounds like a win to me.

    I plan on comprehensively blowing my pacing this weekend, but it's a literally once a year opportunity to see some friends and get out of the house for more than a couple of hours a week. I'll pay for it through the rest of the week, but that's fine by me.